As your children grow older it becomes more and more difficult to let go. With each stage of life, you try your best to hold on to what was. Unfortunately, just like our parents did with us, we have to stop dangling the apron string.

You know that string you dangled when your little one was starting to walk and you had to let them fall in order to learn. Or what about the one you dangled when he had to learn to defend himself against the school bully. Maybe your string was the one that dangled when she would not kiss you on the first day of school.

Whatever the string, you have dangled it for a long time. Sometimes they hold on and other times they let go. However, your goal should be to simple stop dangling it and allow them to grow as nature intends. Let each stage happen as it should without getting in the way. This can be a hard concept to grasp, but if you pick up that string and cut it off, they will be alright.

It seems like with teenagers this is even harder because up until then they really needed you to be mom. Now they simply need you to be a guide, a mentor and sometimes even a friend. Most of us nurturing moms are just not ready to stop being mom. Rest assured you don’t stop being mom. You are still mom, but your role is different at this stage in life.

If you find that they grab a hold of that string and won’t let go, you need to cut it and tell them that it is time for them to make decisions that they may not want to make. As-a-matter-of-fact, you will most likely want to make the decisions for them. But mom, you really can’t.

You can guide them, share your own experiences and give them the opportunity to decide what is best for them. Sure when the situation is dire, you may need to step in; and in those cases, do what you have to do.

No matter how long the string is, the point is that there comes a time when it must go. By the time they are teenagers, you have done your job in showing them by example, and even with words, how they need to conduct themselves and behave as young adults. They are ready to accept the awesome life that lies beyond them and all they need to hear you say is that they will be alright.

When you cut the string, let them know that you’re still mom and that you will always be there when they feel the need to talk to mom or just to chat with a good friend.

LaTara Ham-Ying is a writer, natural mom entrepreneur, and owner of The Natural Writer. When she is not being a mom mentor to her 16 year old son, she puts on her “mom the mommy” hat for her 4 year old son.