You know the holidays are truly here when the “beat the holiday stress” headlines start appearing. (At least this post has a slightly different headline!)

The reality is the season of joy becomes overshadowed by feelings of stress.  The negative aspects of stress truly take away what is one of the most memorable and joyful times of the year for many people.

So why is it so stressful? Apparently it’s all our own doing.

Here’s what Forbes magazine has to say on the topic:

From long lines to even longer lists, there are numerous opportunities to become mired in holiday strain, but experts say it can be overcome by tailoring festivities to your liking, as opposed to mimicking the grandiose displays reflected in commercials or movies. (Rebecca Ruiz, November 4, 2008)

Those “grandiose displays” of the the perfect Holiday family, couple, girlfriend trio, etc. can really make some of us feel like there will never be enough hours in the day to turn what we have into what we see at the stores and in the media.

It’s this sense of having to keep up that creates the stress.  Dr. Beverly Thorn, a professor of psychology at the University of Alabama tells Forbes magazine that there is a way to deal with this and I love her advice.

I encourage people to not just jump on the bandwagon. We need small doses of expectations or else we’re settling ourselves up for failure.”

Not only can creating these unrealistic expectations ruin your Holiday season, it can be bad for your health.

When we start worrying about keeping up appearances as the perfect Holiday home maker or social guru instead of dealing with what we sincerely can and want to do this Holiday season, we manufacture our own pressure pot of  “distress.”

Once we’re firmly enshrined into that stressed-out mode, bad habits set in that can range from excessive eating and drinking to being overly difficult and critical with family members and friends.  And that’s not all.

Experts acknowledge that these bad habits are often accompanied by physical symptoms like muscle tension, headaches and fatigue.

So how do we keep the joy in the holiday season and lose the stress?

Try adopting a new perspective on the season. Don’t feel compelled to recreate magazine covers or to become the social maven of your circle.  Choose not to compete; choose to enjoy the season.

Aggie Casey, director of the Cardiac Wellness Program at the Benson-Henry Institute of Massachusetts General Hospital suggests individuals adopt de-stressing techniques like deep breathing and personal reflections. She suggests thinking back on the source of the anxiety and choosing a response instead of reacting to the situation.  “Stop, breathe, reflect and choose.”

That’s a good mantra to adopt especially just before you respond to someone who has just taken your parking spot at the mall.